I’ll Call You

This three word phrase is almost as dreadful as the four word phrase “we need to talk.”  Why do people even utter the words?  We all know what it really means, having decoded the line the first time it was used:

They’re not really going to call.

I guess I always wonder what the point is in lying?  Please don’t worry about sparing my feelings — I’d rather you be up front with me.  If you’re not interested, want to pursue other prospects, the timing is wrong, whatever the case may be… just say it.

And when did this whole “let me spare your feelings” thing start?  When did people stop being straight with each other?  Were people EVER straight with each other?  If you’re not really going to call, and you’re never going to see her again, what is the point in trying to let her down easy?  Why try to gently sever the ties, only to risk her calling you anyway to figure out what happened, why you haven’t called?

In all honesty, I think that you earn so much more respect when you can be up front.  No one’s asking you to be lovey dovey here; all I’m saying is don’t say you’re going to do something if you really aren’t going to.  There’s no good that can come from creating an expectation that you have no intention of meeting.  Just let her know what it is and walk.  She won’t break into a million pieces — women are stronger than you think.

Seriously, I would say it to you…

Grow a pair.

6 thoughts on “I’ll Call You”

  1. “I’ll call you” is less of a way to spare feelings and more of a raincheck most times. Like maybe not right now but if I ever get desperate or just change my mind I want to keep the option open of hitting you up on a lonely night. Keep the ball in my court in the meantime while not garaunteeing we’ll talk. The phrase is abbreviated from it’s literal meaning “I’ll call you….if and when I feel like it”.

    1. LOL, well, I think then my point still stands — say what you really mean. If I’m just a contingency, let me know what it is, and I’ll let you know if I want to be on the roster. I won’t ride the bench for just anyone. 😉

      1. That makes men, in general, sound a lot sleazier than they really are. I think there’s a misnomer that a man can’t say what he really means and get what he really wants out of a situation. I call bull, because he can, IF he’s saying it to the right person. You have to qualify it.

        The reason that I believe some folks don’t say what they really mean is because they know they’re not talking to the right person. They’re talking to a person that doesn’t want to be the “sometimes” chick, the call when he’s bored chick, the casual nighttime chick that never sees daylight. They have to disguise it to make it attractive, because (at least for this female) she wouldn’t be down if she knew truth. She wouldn’t waste her time if she knew truth.

        And maybe dude doesn’t care about her feelings or her time, and that’s why he’s gaming her, but I guarantee that there is some down chick out there that is down for the cause. Why create all of the illusion that, “oh, I’m busy, but I’ll hit you up when I get some free time. Work’s been crazy, but I’m gonna try to hit you up this weekend.” No, you’re not busy, you just want your throng of groupies to choose from.

        Ultimately, for this particular post, this was more from personal perspective and less about the general public: I might be down, but if you can’t keep it 100, the game is over. I don’t have time for smoke and mirrors. You never know what I might be open to, especially if you never ask.

  2. “Here’s something else to think about: calling when you say you’re going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can’t lay this one stupid brick down, you ain’t never gonna have a house baby, and it’s cold outside.” ~ Greg Behrendt, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

    I met a guy once and I really enjoyed talking to him. We talked all night at the bar where we met. We ended up going out on a date later that week. I thought the date went really well. We had good conversation, and he was really good company. I really thought that we the night would lead into a second date. At the end of the night, he kissed me on the cheek and said, “It’s been really nice meeting you.” And that was it. He never said he would call. I knew then that I would never see him again. But I respected him for not making empty statements. Even though it never turned into anything, I will always remember him as being a stand-up guy.

    1. See, and that is exactly what I’m saying! If it isn’t going to work, just keep it real. There’s no point in creating an expectation (for those that don’t know what the phrase really means), or to be anything but up front.

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