Sometimes, you have to take a step away to see things for what they are.
Blogging, at least for me, has always been my therapy; the one place where I could express myself freely. No filters. No care as to what anyone else thought. It’s like yelling into a vacuum. Or, at least, that was my perception the first years I blogged.
The past couple years, blogging has been disjointed for me. I kept changing blogs because I was worried about losing a few followers, I wanted to hide from specific followers, and I felt stifled. I couldn’t say everything I was thinking. I couldn’t yell into a vacuum anymore. I started internalizing everything.
I can’t sleep, because I can’t turn my brain off. I can’t turn my brain off, because I can’t do my habitual mind dump. I can’t release myself of all my worries because I can’t seem to put them out into the universe. I want to, but I can’t seem to unfilter. I can’t seem to turn off my concern that others are watching.
But I need to.