Building Better Habits

I’ve been allowing too much time to pass me by, not only when it comes to writing, but with life in general. I have too many goals to hide behind the guise of being too busy, too tired, over-committed, or unable to focus. 

I keep waiting for someone to come along and allow me the opportunity to cook, teach, write, be active, love, volunteer, save, and practice self-care. Waiting, as if I can’t take a step forward and open these doors myself. Waiting, perhaps more out of a fear of failure than anything else. I keep waiting, but it’s time. 

If you want to create a positive habit, you have to make a routine and set out to complete it every day. No excuses. No waiting. No one is coming to do it for you or for me. Open the doors, and move forward. Even if the routine is built and completed on faith every day, each completion is a successful piece of the positive habit routine structure being built and solidified. As the routine becomes habit, confidence and contentment build. 

Anything is possible. Now tackle the blank book. 

Big Magic

I think about writing all the time, but I’m not getting to it. I need to improve the amount of time I allow myself for things pertaining to myself: health, sanity, and need to write.

A fellow writer is going into creative coaching. She said if you read one of three books on her list, and you still hadn’t found the motivation to practice your craft, you need her services. Ironically, one of those three books has been sitting on my dining table for about three weeks.

Guess I’d better pick it up and get to work. For me.

Balancing Work and Goals

Had an interesting conversation yesterday about ambitions and goals, about balancing work/career with those goals, and about prioritizing self. Seems like I often have these conversations, but I enjoy the fresh perspective.

Funny how we can think about all of the possibilities for future, but when we are present, we’re not necessarily focused on taking the steps to make possibilities reality. At least I don’t always do that. Is it avoidance? Is it wavering confidence? Is it laziness?

So what if you’re tired or haven’t had a weekend off for over a month? Won’t the long days/nights be worth if it you realize your dreams? How do we accomplish goals that we’re not working to achieve? Can’t keep putting them off for another day.

I ask myself questions sometimes, not to get down on myself or to punish, but instead because I need to hear answers. Those answers become mantra. Positive affirmations that help me stay motivated and energized.

Maybe there isn’t the need for a muse or any exterior nudge, but those things inspire me in a way that I have a hard time finding otherwise. But that really shouldn’t matter. Just make it work.

Upgrading My Fitbit

This post has been sponsored by Amazon, but all opinions expressed here are my own.

I joined the Fitbit family over two years ago in an effort to get more active and hold myself more accountable. I got a Fitbit Flex after the Force was recalled, and I’ve liked it for the most part. The biggest issue I had with the Flex was that it didn’t have the display that the Force had. This band takes up some prime real estate, but doesn’t actually have a watch face, and wearing both can sometimes feel inconvenient (but it feels weird to wear the Fitbit on my non-watch wrist).

Though the Charge, the Blaze, and the Surge are all out, none of them had me excited enough to replace my Flex. Enter Fitbit Alta.

This Fitbit newbie will be available mid-March, and will be sold in four colors (black, blue, plum or teal) and two sizes. The wristband is said to be slightly slimmer than the Flex, but similar to the Flex, the Alta features changeable wristbands. Most notably, there will now be leather and sleek metal options.

Beyond the simple face of the Flex, the Alta can has call, text, and calendar notifications. There are different clock faces to choose from, and this one has more reminders to move throughout the day. This is just far more functional, without being so bulky. The sleep tracker is still there, as are the silent alarms, and you can still use the app to your heart’s desire.

I found myself envying a friend that has an Apple watch, because her lovely device automatically recognized her various activities without her having to track different types of exercise. Even if you’re used to doing that with the Fitbit app, you would do it a lot less with the Alta. The Alta has a new SmartTrack automatic exercise recognition, which excites me to no end, because now I can take a spinning class without moving my FitBit to my shoe. Have you ever done that? Well, now you can run, spin, bike or use the elliptical, and your Fitbit knows (this is available on the Charge, Surge, and Blaze as well, but not the Flex).

Needless to say, you can order the Alta now. I have.

Work Sweet Home

I worked a twelve hour day today, but I would have stayed longer. In my quest to prove to myself that I am not a workaholic, and to feel a little more settled at my new job, working a long day doesn’t exactly help me feel like I have an appropriate work/life balance.

I had every intention of leaving at the close of business, but meetings ran long, and then students and colleagues kept popping in to say hello. My boss stopped by on her way out. People just kept coming, but it felt good. I’m slowly working my way into normalcy; I’m no longer just occupying someone else’s chair. Folks seem to be adjusting to me being there, and I’m finding that I’m breathing a little easier.

There are certainly some folks that I can see have their doubts, either given my age or their feelings about my office in general, but I’ve gained a lot of support. I’m still new enough to feel some level of trepidation and a need to prove myself, but I think that’s good for now. I’m not looking for a pat on the head; rather, I want to create a network of colleagues and resources that will help me achieve my goals.

Balancing work and personal life is certainly easier some days more than others, but I am making more time for myself. Getting out to SoulCycle or to take a yoga class, enjoying the local cigar lounge, meeting up with friends for wine and tapas, or even just having a nice glass of bourbon at home with my laptop on and a movie playing in the background. Dating, sure, that happens once in a while. I don’t see it as a high priority, but I think that’s primarily because I don’t want anything that feels forced. It will happen when the time is right.

People are always going to have their opinions and think that they could live your life, or do your job, better than you could. They think this without having your background, circumstances, vulnerabilities, or strengths. And they will come with criticisms, or wanting you to learn from their mistakes, or throw shade at whatever they perceive to be weakness. They meddle because they just can’t help themselves. They have control issues, they can’t handle whatever their own problems are so they project on you, or they see you as a threat.

At the end of the day, so what? No one can live your life but you.

Anniversary

I can’t believe that today is actually a blog anniversary for me here. My posts grew so infrequent for a time that this site still feels so new to me. So unlike my Xanga days, which I miss.

I miss the followers that frequented my page, ones that I could really get to know. Ones that understood or even just empathized with the loss and grief I was experiencing. I appreciated those days.

I recognize that things have to change; change is necessary for growth. I’m not resistant to change, but I do want some sort of normalcy. I’ve got to get that for myself though, rather than wait for it to come to me. Writing can’t be an every day for me if I don’t allow it; I have to make the time and the effort, even when I feel mentally exhausted.

I assume many go through moments where they question motivation, where they give in to the pressures of the every day, sacrificing the things that they actually enjoy. If my days were full of writing and cooking, I’d be a hell of a lot happier. And I guess it comes down to making excuses. I have so much work to do. I went out this weekend. I need more sleep. If I need to write, I need to make the time. Let’s see that commitment come to fruition.

Stay tuned. Four years here. Here’s to many more. Cheers.

Regresar a Casa

Finally home, after 3 weeks of travel, and I don’t know where to begin. Do I clean, do laundry, or eat some of Zea’s famous Thai style ribs?? Of course, we all know the ribs are going to win this battle, but I have yet to find that semblance of home.

I think the answer really is in finding a balance, but because I’m always in a state of wanting to move, I never put in all of the effort I’d need to really make any place “homey.” I think I actually feel more comfortable living in hotels at this point.

Mexico was incredible. And although “la vengaza de Montezuma” did take over for a few days, the language, the people, the history, and the buildings were just amazing. I’d go back in a heartbeat. I’m inspired.

I want to get back to my Xanga days. Very few followers have made the journey with me from my start on Xanga in 2003, through my blogspot days, to my home on WordPress. Through anonymous spells to completely public, and back to semi-anonymity.

But when I say I want to get back to my Xanga days, I mean that I’m tired of filtering what I have to say. I used to write anything and everything, and the only thing I really hid were the names of those I came into contact with. I just got everything off my chest and avoided the worry of stepping on egg shells.

Maybe Mexico was the start of my journey to the kind of writing I like, or maybe I’m just tired of talking about randomness without tying anything together. I’m a professional, I’m a writer, I’m a cook, a musician, an avid reader, a yogi, a friend, and a wanderer.

This is where the facets intersect.

Evacuation? No?? You sure???

So, by tomorrow evening, I guess we’re expecting to feel the outer effects of Mr. Hurricane Isaac.  He’s not a hurricane just yet, but he will be by the time he reaches Louisiana.  Great.  Ironically, the mayor of New Orleans decided today that an evacuation was unnecessary, but he said he would revisit the thought tomorrow.  Um… if this hurricane becomes a category 2, people don’t evacuate?  What about all of this below sea level business??

I certainly don’t claim to be a hurricane expert, never having experienced one before, but I’m ready to evacuate NOW.  That the storm is picking up strength and basically set its sights on this exactly city on the 7 year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina is creepy enough.  That it’s literally less than a week that I’ve been living in New Orleans and now I’ll be experiencing a full blown hurricane is another story altogether.  What’s even more ironic — my plan to evacuate to Memphis?  Well, that would have been all bad, because apparently, that’s where Isaac wants to end up also.  Unbelievable.

Dear Isaac,

While I appreciate the warm welcome, it would be so great if my first week at work could be a little LESS eventful.

Thx, sm